How do I write
a travelogue after going through cancer? Most people wouldn't think of stepping
out of the house often, not to mention traveling, at least not after a year gap
from the treatment. The fear of dealing with side effects in a foreign country, the inconvenience of following a strict post
cancer diet to prevent relapse, concern on my stamina not able to handle the
long tiring journey, the worries of how my low immune system can handle the germs slowly build up my vulnerability, all these and more generates anxiety and fear.
Nonetheless,
after 77 days of completing my 33 sessions of radiotherapy and 6 sessions of
chemotherapy, I decided to move on with my travel plans. It’s funny how I foresee
this trip is necessary, if not, why would I book a one way ticket to visit my
chum, Kylie early January this year before knowing there is a tumor hibernating
on my neck.
Honestly,
the idea of not able to travel is more devastating than knowing I’ve got
cancer. Without traveling, I feel like I’m imprisoned, in my case, confined by
cancer, not able to be who I’m or liberated like the statue of liberty
(Actually, it’s quite ironic for her to stay put in one place and not move).
Traveling emancipate my thoughts, inspire my work. Walking free, smelling the
fresh air, immersing in foreign culture, language and people that’ll amaze me.
Isn't this the best way for recovery?
Thus, this
will be a road to recovery; by saying recovery doesn't mean I’ll be staying in
an expensive resort facing the sea or backpacking it like a tough cookie like I
used to be. I’ll manage it with a balance. By traveling slow, slower than the
pace I traveled before, visiting my friends rather than filling up all the
sightseeing in one day, seeing as much as I could and giving thanks to my
friends whom show me so much support during my cancer treatment.
I remember
a dear friend of mine, Nancy from Malacca once told me, or maybe more than once
that I’m very blessed especially when I’m travelling. I’m always surrounded by extremely
hospitable good friends, so much so I feel like
a) They are
like my extended family members or
b) I’m
V.I.P (Very “Impressive” Person) like Obama that needs to be taken care of
carefully
Whatever I
need is a stone throw away. The kindness I received everywhere I go from my
friends or even stranger humbled me. I can give you various occurrences but
that will take up the whole weeks narrating it. All I can say, I’m overwhelmed with goodness
every day!
So where
will I go then?
I’ll first arrived
in Melbourne, Australia, flying out from Darwin to Bali, Indonesia then back to
Singapore for my MRI, soon after that to Bangkok, Thailand followed by Hong
Kong and last but not least back to Singapore from Guang Zhou, China. This
journey will take 3 months, even though some of the countries like Bangkok,
Hong Kong or Guang Zhou might not be the best countries for recovery but till
to the fact, this is where my friends are locating. Recovery will be a state of
mind for these places.
A wise man once
said, it’s not the destination that’s important, it’s the journey. As for
someone after going through cancer, it’s not the knowing I’m cancer free; it’s
the mental mindset on how I choose to deal with this illness that’s far more
important.
Coming back
to the question, how do I write a travelogue after going through cancer? I
can’t write, I can only feel from my heart, let my heart do the writing. I will
let this journey heighten my senses and reduce my side effects. Letting go of
the uncertainty, letting go of all the anxiety and worries, letting go of
fear, the unknown, just letting go.
For all you
know, aren’t all these emotional states causing the cancer in the first place…
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